Crazy Stupid
by Aki Rei
Summary: Where everybody wants to try their hand at matchmaking. And where simply confessing is so yesterday and taking the most roundabout way to show your love is the new thing. Crazy ensues.
1. Chapter 1

Summary:

Where everybody wants to try their hand at matchmaking. And where simply confessing is so yesterday and taking the most roundabout way to show your love is the new thing. Crazy ensues.

Chapter 1

The truth is that Rei limits himself to a sweet treat once a week. Of course, as is the normal thing to do, he had done his research on the optimal nutritional diet that a young man like himself needs. And as per expectation, sweets doesn't do much for your body and is in fact very fattening (and might lead to diabetes!) if consumed in very large doses. He tries his best to keep fit after all, that and he would never hear the end of it from Gou if he developed flab instead of muscle (and flab is certainly not beautiful, thank you very much).

Now, Rei thinks, for every standard there is always an anomaly. And the anomaly is sitting right across from him. The blond whirlwind, also known as Hazuki Nagisa, is downing his third milkshake paired with his second serving of cake. Rei scrunched his forehead in disbelief (if that doesn't count as sugar overload, Rei doesn't know what is). As it is, Nagisa is still a dainty little thing and is still very beautiful in Rei's eyes. The blue haired teen shakes himself from this line of thought. It would be very improper...

"Rei-chan! Are you even listening to me?" Nagisa whines as Rei proceeds to wipe bits of cake that flew in his face.

"Nagisa-kun what did I tell you about talking with your mouth full? You look very unseemly. Not to mention it is not good manners." Rei says out loud. To himself – he thinks that the blonde could pick his nose while talking with his mouth full and he'll still find him to be very cute. Of course, Nagisa doesn't need to know about that.

"So! As I was saying, before you rudely interrupted me Rei-chan..."

"I did not!"

"Have you noticed that Mako-chan have been making googly eyes at Haru-chan even more so lately?" Nagisa inquires his eyes eerily shining like Haruka-senpai's when he sees water. Rei sputters as he was caught off guard by the question. He composes himself and pushes his glasses up his nose.

"Well…" Rei has always been a keen observer. And once in awhile, when he indulges himself, he likes to think that he would make a great detective. Like Sherlock. Maybe even better. You know, should he so choose that profession.

"Right? Right? And also! Mako-chan is always blushing around Haru-chan! He was never like that before!"

"Ahh…"

"And also! Have you noticed? When Haru-chan strips in a public area normally Mako-chan would stop him before his shirt can be stripped off… But now he waits until Haru-chan is down to his socks!"

"You are exaggerating Nagisa-kun! I know for a fact that Makoto-senpai stops Haruka-senpai when he's about to take off his pants. And not down to his socks as you say."

"But you see what I mean right Rei-chan?" Nagisa nods up and down enthusiastically. The bespectacled boy sighs.

This isn't exactly news to him. Makoto-senpai's actions are just a natural progression of things. It is obvious to people with two eyes and a common sense that their good natured captain got it bad for Haruka-senpai. Rei doesn't even need to list down his observations for the simpletons to know this.

What's the real news is here is how their free style swimmer responds to Makoto-senpai these days. Rei has noted that Haruka-senpai holds their backstroke swimmer's hand 1.5 seconds longer after being pulled out of the pool. How his eyes would point down 45 degrees to the ground with a very faint blush in his cheeks after he's been praised. And how he flips his hair 4 times (it was a mere 3 times before!) if he knows Makoto-senpai is looking.

"Of course I know what you mean. But what about it?" He finally answers the blonde who looked like he's about to spontaneously combust in excitement.

"I thought you would never ask! Well, isn't it obvious? We need to help Mako-chan with his wooing skills!" Nagisa states matter of factly.

"Why can we not help Haruka-senpai with his social skills instead?" Rei mumbled to himself. Honestly. Just because their captain is the more outgoing one doesn't mean that he has to be the one who pursues. Besides, he thinks that Makoto-senpai has done so many sweet and thoughtful things for Haruka-senpai already. Wouldn't it be nice to have it done the other way around? Their captain most certainly deserves it.

"Huh? What did you say Rei-chan? I did not catch that." Nagisa leans over the table to and cups a hand over his ear. If he leans 5 inches more, he would be invading Rei's personal space. If he leans 7 inches more, Rei would be able to look deep into Nagisa's beautiful eyes and...

The butterfly swimmer snaps himself out of his absurd fantasy and smiles.

"I said, what a good idea! When should we start 'helping'?" The blonde squeals as he immediately begins rattling one idea after another.

Rei pushes his glasses up his nose in habit as he listens half heartedly to Nagisa. Of course the blonde knows zilch about Haruka-senpai's feelings. If he has an inkling then they wouldn't need such elaborate planning to get those two together. They just need to lock those two inside a dark room (so Makoto-senpai gets scared) for an hour and they would emerge as a couple. Problem solved.

But if Nagisa is as perceptive as that, then he would know that Rei is only going along with this crazy plan so that he can be even closer to him. To spend even more time with him. (And maybe, he can also do some planning on his own to get his own love match).

With that thought in mind, Rei smiles to himself and has to practically stop himself from patting his own shoulder for having that bright idea.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Rin. Don't you think you're pushing yourself too hard?" The red head grimaces. He supposes Sousuke can't keep quiet any longer. Consecutive days of pulling double 'shifts' of practice and his friend is not saying anything? Pfft. Please. Rin knows that he was just bidding his time to hen peck him.

He glances up and makes a face at Sousuke. His friend isn't looking at him though. He's trying to look uninterested by pretending to read but that tight grip he has on his book says otherwise. Rin breathes deeply to calm himself down. His friend is just worried after all.

"What? Of course not! You know I will never compromise my health. I know what I'm doing okay?" Rin tries to reassure him. He grumbles to himself as the other teen made no indication that he heard him. There's no doubt about it. Sousuke is in a pretty pissy mood.

He walks to window and vigorously dries his hair. Well, he might not be in the mood but Rin is. He will try his best not to let Sousuke ruin his night. After all, Rei had finally gotten the hang of all the other strokes in a few short days. And it's nice that he can help the butterfly swimmer improve and be friends with him. After all, he owes the guy big time. If not for him giving up his spot on that relay, Rin wouldn't be able to mend his friendship and connect with the Iwatobi guys again. And for that, he would be forever grateful.

"And besides, Mr. Grumpy-pants. Today is the last day. Rei has been able to learn all he can from me and he just needs to practice on his own. He's really come a long way, you know." He says with pride and fondness in his voice. Rin thinks that should be able to calm his friend down – as he wouldn't be 'tiring' himself anymore. Sheeesh.

"Do you like that dorky butterfly guy, huh Rin?" Sousuke snaps at him as he finally stops pretending to read his book. His friend gets up from the bunk, jumps down and proceeds to glare at him.

Of course, Rin being Rin, he is not the least bit intimidated by this at all. He and Sousuke have been friends for the longest time. All that time apart did not do any real damage to their friendship. In fact, when they first met again here in Samezuka, it was like just picking up where they left off. Like being middle schoolers all over again.

"Hah?" Rin asks as his brows shoots way over his hairline. The red head's confused. He's so shocked that he can't form any coherent thought. That question came out of nowhere. _What the hell?!_

"Don't play dumb with me. Or are you and that smart pants already going out? Sousuke asks forcefully as he crosses his arms over his chest and glares some more.

"What are you going on about? I don't…" Rin's starting to get mighty irritated himself. He doesn't know why Sousuke's getting so worked up on the wrong reason. At first he thought that the teal eyed teen was angry because he was over exerting himself doing extra sessions. As it turns out, he seems to be mad that he's spending so much time and effort with Rei. _Is he jealous?_

He's about to go on a rant to let Sousuke have a piece of his mind (_and his fist, if he continues to be so damn unreasonable_) when the door to their room suddenly bangs open.

"Is it true Rin-senpai?! You're already dating somebody?" Nitori asks his voice quivering and eyes shining. The Samezuka captain looks at his former roommate a little suspiciously. _Are those tears forming in his eyes? _The red head frowns.

"What you're already seeing someone?!" Momo asks as he looks crestfallen. _Is he disappointed? But __why?_ Rin's frown gets deeper. Of all the things that these two could have heard, it has to be the one about him being taken. _I think Sousuke's rubbing off on them_.

The red head opens his mouth and tries to think of a suitable answer that would shut all of them up, but was distracted when Momo suddenly perks up. He sees the orange haired teen's eyes light up in determination and just like that he's back to his happy, energetic state.

"So who is it senpai? Is it the guy who baked you those cookies? Do you like guys who bake senpai? Or you just fancy guys with glasses?" Momo asks his questions in rapid succession as he bounds over to where his captain stands and invades his personal space. He looks up at Rin hopefully.

Rin sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose. He can feel a migraine coming up. Just when he thought he'd be going to bed in a great mood, this happens. Why can't he have normal friends/teammates? As of the moment, he has a teary eyed Nitori. A maniacal Momo (the happy sort). And a maniacal Sousuke (the angry sort).

And as much as he wants to brush them off and ignore them, he knows he can't. Rin can already see it in his mind's eye. Sousuke would surely terrorize the underclassmen with all his glaring. Nitori would surely be sulky and pouty. And Momo is already distracted most of the time – adding another thing for him to worry about would surely be disastrous. The red head is sure that this will affect their performance and as their captain he can't have that.

_And really, what is it with their sudden obsession in my love life_? He asks himself exasperatedly.

"What is this? Gang-up-on-the-shark-with-stupid-questions-night?" He asks lightly and tries to smile at them comically to diffuse the situation. One look at them though and he sighs bitterly. Rin's not getting off this lightly. They really are serious and want to know the real score.

"I'm not dating anyone okay? If I am, it will certainly not be Rei. I mean. Guys. Honestly. Rei has the hots for Nagisa. It's so glaringly obvious that I don't even need to wear my prescription glasses to see it."

"Why did you say 'If I am'? Are you dating someone else?" Sousuke asks as he joins Momo in crowding Rin's personal space. Not to be outdone, Nitori steps closer as well.

"Is it Nanase-senpai? You have always thought highly of him…" His former roommate stutters as his eyes shine a bit more (seriously, he thinks the kid will start bawling any moment now).

"So what is it that you are looking for in a guy, huh senpai?" Momo's eyes go large in attention as he expects Rin to answer him truthfully.

"Enough!" Rin finally snaps. He can't get a word in and their questions are escalating to uncomfortable levels for him to answer. He has to diffuse the situation. _And quick_!

He stares all three of them down. Sensing that their captain is moments away in getting real angry they turn quiet. Rin, sensing that they are pliable enough for listening without interrupting takes the chance to launch his brilliant and inspired plan. He just came up with it literally seconds after the stare down. He works well under pressure after all – whether it be in swimming or in dire situations. _Like this one!_

"Okay. For some insane reason I get the feeling that you aren't be comfortable with me spending time with the Iwatobi guys…" He gets three solemn nods. He rolls his eyes. He really have dysfunctional teammates. _I mean who the hell thinks that monopolizing a person is acceptable_?

"They are my friends and whether you like it or not, I will continue being friends with them and will spend time with them." Rin could see their hackles rising. Before they can interrupt him again, he plows on.

"And for some reason that I cannot even begin to fathom, you guys are only adverse to me being with my Iwatobi friends because you think… that I might be romantically involved with them." He finishes haltingly. He's unsure about this, but with all the dating questions thrown at him – he can only assume that this is the reason. Looking at the vigorous nods he gets, it seems like he's right on target.

"And as I said earlier, it's obvious that Rei's got it bad for Nagisa. I'm not sure about Nagisa, because well, he's sweet with everybody. The _little_ time I get to spend with them is not enough for me to glean information if the attraction is mutual."

"What does it have to do with us?" Sousuke asks irritably. _Why can't Rin get to the point already_? He doesn't want to hear about the woes of those losers.

"Duh. Do you think I'd date someone who is already taken?" And suddenly like the dawn breaking, his teammates' faces brightened in clarity. Of course! Why hadn't they thought of that? Instead of getting Rin angry like this, they should have taken it upon themselves to make those Iwatobi guys unavailable for their captain. _So simple_!

"I thought so." The red head says smugly.

"So! Here's what you're going to do. It's actually two birds in one stone. First, you get to see for yourself about Rei's little love situation and second, you can make it up to him by helping him win Nagisa over." He finishes triumphantly.

"But what about Nanase-senpai?" Nitori interjected. Rin winces. _He's a sharp one, that Nitori_.

"Fine, fine. Well, we all know that Haru and Makoto are already practically attached at the hip." Sousuke eyes flash with annoyance and looks like he wants to argue, so before he could start raging, the red head continues.

"I'm pretty sure that they're in love with each other. I think Mako is just waiting for Haru to acknowledge his feelings but with Haru being as oblivious as he is… Well, he probably thinks that letting Mako pull him up from the pool is enough to let him know that he loves him too." Rin sees the annoyance in his friend's eyes simmer down, so he breathes a sigh of relief.

"So what you need to do is to help Haru be more communicative? Or whatever. It's up to you guys to cook up something. All you need to do is to make Mako and Haru official. Got it?"

"But who is going to do the NagiRei project and the MakoHaru project?" Momo asks excitedly. Rin looks at Momo like he's grown another head. And he thought that he's already finished with the problem.

"We'll do it in pairs. Momo and Nitori you do the NagiRei. Me and Sousuke will do the MakoHaru. " Before he can even finish that sentence, Rin already knew that he had opened a can of worms.

"Unfair! I want to spend time with Rin-senpai too!" Momo whines as he tugs at Rin's arm and proceeds to give him a lethal dosage of puppy dog eyes.

"Why are you favoring Sousuke-senpai? Is it him you want?" Nitori asks as he sinks to the ground and finally, the bawl that Rin has been expecting happened. He looks helplessly at Sousuke and pleads with his eyes to help him, but the taller teen just looks perfectly happy and perfectly smug in his corner.

"GAH! You guys will be the death of me. FINE! We will do rotations. I'll partner up with Sousuke first, then Nitori, then Momo."

"Did you pick me last Rin-senpai because of the saying – save the best for last?" If it could be done, Rin thinks that the kid would start farting rainbows in his giddiness. Sousuke though, loses the smug look in his face at Momo's declaration and proceeds to look thunderous. Rin pushes the kid behind him to hide him from Sousuke. He's getting real nervous at that menacing look in his friend's eyes.

"Rin-senpai likes me the least!" Nitori bawls uncontrollably from his place in the floor.

As the red head looks over at his teammates, he's got a bad feeling that he might have been a mass murderer in his past life. He must've been. Else, he would not be punished like this.

Rin sends a silent prayer to whoever is listening for this night to finally please end.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Makoto and Haru have been talking about Rin a lot lately. How he has lost all the angst that he carried after their fateful relay, how he has been mellowing a bit more and how he has been giving much effort in reaching out to them.

For the most part, Makoto is glad with Rin's progress. They finally have their friend back in their lives. That thought alone should have been enough to warrant the Iwatobi captain's complete happiness. But as much as he loathes admitting it, even to himself, he's jealous.

Ever since everything has been fixed between Rin and them, he has noticed how Haru has been more… _alive_. His eyes, Makoto's favorite feature of him, have always held the same blank look – like endless blue depths. But lately, his eyes have been dancing with unchecked emotions – like the rippling ocean. And it's a sight to behold.

He sighs. He knows the reason why Haru has been feeling perky. Rin has taken to visiting their club during Fridays after practice, where they would race each other. Every other Sunday, the red head would invite everyone to Haru's just to hang out and catch up with each other's lives. He's slowly reverting back to the old Rin and they had been feeling elated because of that.

Makoto should have been ecstatic. Rin is finally _back_ and Haru _is_ happy. But he can't help but feel discarded somehow. Sure, they still have their rituals. Every morning he picks his friend up to make sure he gets out of the tub and goes to school. They still go home together. He still gets to pull Haru out from the pool. But it doesn't feel the same.

It's like there's this looming presence between them. Like he's doing something that someone else should be doing. Like he's not the one Haru wants to be doing that for him. Makoto doesn't know if he's paranoid or just thinking way too much into it, but he can't help himself

As it stands, he already hates himself for even harboring this ugly feeling. He shouldn't be jealous. He should be selfless and put Haru's happiness before himself. He had resolved this long before they had made amends with Rin but Haru is being difficult. Makoto has a sinking suspicion that his friend might be a closet sadist and he, a closet masochist.

The green eyed teen sighs again as he bent down to scratch the chin of a cat waiting for him at the top of the stairs.

"Hey there Ming. How are you today?" He asks as the cat lets Makoto pet her.

In all honesty, he thought that he is an expert Haru reader. But this time, he's just plain stumped. He doesn't know what the blue eyed teen was thinking when he suggested that they should find a love match for Rin. He had already puzzled over this a hundred times ever since Haru had suggested the match making thing. But can't think of a possible reason for his friend to do this.

Haru was suggesting that the most likely candidates are Rin's teammates. Sousuke, Nitori and Momo. He said that they were all hopelessly in love with their captain (This little tidbit escaped Makoto's attention, and he was surprised that his friend had even observed this) and that they wouldn't do anything to hurt Rin. Haru said that the first and foremost important thing is that whoever it is that they would pair with Rin – would take care of him and never hurt him. The vehemence in which he said that caught Makoto unawares.

Haru was speaking so passionately about that. Makoto can't help but wonder if he was just using Rin's teammates as an excuse for the love match. Maybe he was sending out discreet signals to him. That he should help Haru out with expressing his feelings for Rin_. I mean, the only way that Haru can rest assure that Rin is being taken care of, is if he does it himself. Right?_

Makoto smiles sadly as Ming the cat vanishes away. Soon, it would be Haru who he would be seeing running away from him. But that's okay. As long as he knows that Haru is happy, then Makoto will try his best to support him. Even if it meant watching his own heart break.

He finally walks up to the blue eyed teen's door; plasters a smile on his face and knocks.

* * *

Haru has gotten enough. Makoto has been morose and listless lately that he's starting to worry. He's confused as to why he is having that behavior and he doesn't know what's keeping his friend down. He wants to help but he can't do that if he doesn't know what's bothering him.

He has tried talking to Makoto, but the taller teen is always brushing him off, saying he is fine and that Haru doesn't need to worry about him. Then he gives him that dazzling smile of his and Haru forgets what it is that they are talking about in the first place.

He's getting desperate so he enlisted the help of Nagisa. And he's glad he did. The blonde was very helpful and he had pinpointed the reason why Makoto's been acting strange.

"Mako-chan's feeling jealous is all!" Nagisa had proclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Haru frowned at him. _That doesn't make sense_.

"Jealous? Of who?"

"Rin-chan of course!"

"But why?"

"You really don't know Haru-chan?" Nagisa asked him, his brows furrowing together in concentration.

"I wouldn't be asking you if I know." He deadpanned.

"Alright, alright. No need to be bitchy." Nagisa giggled at that. _So Haru-chan_!

"Mako-chan's jealous of Rin-chan because he likes you!"

"But why is he jealous? I like him too. Not Rin." The blonde looked at him curiously.

"Well, you know how selfless Mako-chan is. Maybe he thinks you'll be happier if you were with Rin-chan instead of him."

"Makoto is so weird." Haru blurted out. Rin is just an important friend. And yeah, he's the spark to Haru's fire. He makes him want to compete and be better. But that is all. The one who gives him butterflies in his stomach, the one who makes him feel all warm inside is Makoto. Haru doesn't know what to do to fix this.

So he looked at Nagisa expectantly. He was decimating the bribe he set out for him. (Haru bought a cake in the nearby bakery just so he can bait the blonde into coming to his house without Rei). Nagisa was seriously pondering on how Haru should proceed next. His friend is counting on him to provide a brilliant solution.

"I got it!" He said after an idea hit him like a ton of bricks. Haru's eyes dances.

"What is it?"

"I think… you should set Rin-chan up with somebody else!"

"Huh? What's that got to do with Makoto?"

"Because in Mako-chan's mind you are pining after Rin-chan! If you suggest finding a match for Rinrin, then surely that will blow all Mako-chan's doubts to dust!" Nagisa finished triumphantly. Haru nodded slowly as he thinks of the pros and cons of that plan. He finally settled in his mind that it has more pros. He would get Makoto to understand and they would be able to help Rin. _That could work_.

"Thank you Nagisa." He said as he smiled at his beaming friend.

"You're welcome Haru-chan!"

* * *

What Nagisa failed to ask was if Makoto knew that Haru liked him.

If the blonde had asked, then the advice that he would have given Haru-chan would be very different from the one he gave him. The advice could be summed up in one simple word.

Confess.


End file.
